Max Patch, Maximum Wind Speed

Max Patch is listed as a moderate hike, and the very first sentence of the first paragraph of its description is “If Max Patch is not the ultimate hiking destination for dogs, then it comes pretty close.”

I have no idea how they reached this opinion. Of course I was biased, having just completed Mount Mitchell and had already deemed that the ultimate hiking destination for dogs and for myself.

Max Patch is a bit off the map, so one would think it would be pretty deserted. You have to travel at least seven miles on a gravel/dirt path though National Forest to reach it. So, I was little thrown off by the shear volume of cars scattered along the road before and after the entrance to the area. The parking lot holds only ten cars, as I guess the Forest Service suspected as I did, that few people would venture out for this.

The instructions I received for combining the “around the hill” and “up the hill” trail was to take the trail to the left upon arrival to the sign. However, there were three options. Right, left and left-left. The left trail was most busy, but it headed straight up the grassy knoll. It also stated on a pole “trail closed.” But when it’s just one big green lawn, how do you close a trail? Not being able to see where the left-left trail went to, Tucker and I started up the middle one, even though I was pretty sure we had chosen incorrectly. Mainly because the trail we were supposed to be on was described as being able to avoid the winds that you encounter if you go straight up the hill.

Various sites and books which featured Max Patch told of people coming to this spot to picnic and play frisbee. Again, not sure where these stories came from, but they seem to be something of a rural legend. Tucker and I reached the first cross-trail, and encountered winds strong enough to blow Tucker’s ears almost clear off his head.

Someone nearby attempted to toss a frisbee, but when he simultaneously lost his ballcap and was violently struck in the chest with the frisbee catching a cross-wind and returning to him like a boomerang, he gave up.

Tucker and I took the trail to the left and further down the hill we met up with that left-left trail we hadn’t taken to begin with. It wasn’t as though we’d be getting lost—it was one big open space—so it wasn’t too much of a loss. I decided we’d take that way upon our return.

Aside from the annoying windy conditions, it was a beautiful area of rolling hills.

I imagine this is what some places in Ireland look like, although I’ve never been there.

Tucker and I did the full 3.5 mile hike and then some as we got a little lost (not lost, just confused on which path we were supposed to take to stay on course.) I don’t think it was worth the drive, but in the end, Tucker and I got some exercise, some extra oxygen shoved into our lungs, and most importantly, we captured Tucker’s his new album cover: