People often ask, “How can you foster? Don’t you want to keep them all?” They believe I’m emotionally stunted for not loving every canine that crosses my path. But it’s not that I don’t love them all; it’s just that I don’t fall in love with them all. I have a lot of guy friends—always have. Admittedly, some were ones I had wanted to date at one time or another but either they weren’t interested or the desire slowly fell away as I got to know them better. But the bulk of the guys have always been just friends--no romantic expectations whatsoever. On the rare occasions of me being with someone, I never gave up those guy friends just because I fell in love.
That’s how I look at fostering. A foster dog is just a friend of mine who is looking to find his special someone. I love Tucker; he is my happiness, my joy, my everything. But this summer, I began missing those foster-friends, just as I’d miss my guy friends if I only spent all my time with a boyfriend. Tucker and I found love with each other; it was time we helped other canines find that same connection.
It used to be that within 24 hours of unemployment, I had a foster dog. The need is great, and since I had been dogless, I could take any dog. They didn’t have to like other dogs, they could have separation anxiety, they could be skittish and fearful. Now that I have a rescue partner, any potential foster has to get along with him as well.
After over a year, on the final day of 2014, Tucker and I finally got our first canine houseguest, our very first foster-friend.
That’s how I look at fostering. A foster dog is just a friend of mine who is looking to find his special someone. I love Tucker; he is my happiness, my joy, my everything. But this summer, I began missing those foster-friends, just as I’d miss my guy friends if I only spent all my time with a boyfriend. Tucker and I found love with each other; it was time we helped other canines find that same connection.
It used to be that within 24 hours of unemployment, I had a foster dog. The need is great, and since I had been dogless, I could take any dog. They didn’t have to like other dogs, they could have separation anxiety, they could be skittish and fearful. Now that I have a rescue partner, any potential foster has to get along with him as well.
After over a year, on the final day of 2014, Tucker and I finally got our first canine houseguest, our very first foster-friend.
Hayden is an older gentleman, older by his neglect than by chronological years. When Shelley pulled him from East Valley, she learned that this wasn’t this kid’s first time in the slammer. He did his first stint in 2007 when he had gotten out of his yard. His family came, paid his bail, and he continued to live an unknown life until a few weeks ago when he ended back up in jail for once more getting out of his yard. This time, his family didn’t want him back.
For Hayden’s eight years of neglect, he still is a puppy at heart. He has large skin tags on his ribs, his elbows have calluses from lying on concrete for years, the tips of ears are destroyed from fly strikes, and his mouth is lacking all his original teeth. But when Tucker asked him to play, he was all in.
For Hayden’s eight years of neglect, he still is a puppy at heart. He has large skin tags on his ribs, his elbows have calluses from lying on concrete for years, the tips of ears are destroyed from fly strikes, and his mouth is lacking all his original teeth. But when Tucker asked him to play, he was all in.
The two frollicked and rolled and wrestled in the yard. And when Hayden was worn out, he let Tucker know, and Tucker backed off--a bit. It seemed like a good fit. I had wished for a younger, more active foster for Tucker, but Hayden seemed playful enough and it would be good for Tucker to learn to just chill out with a friend.
And so, rather than spend New Years Eve at some schwanky party all dolled up, or at a house party drinking and hanging with friends, I chaperoned the boys on their first evening together.
There was much play,
There was much play,
And much love.
I kinda felt like a third wheel.
I watched and chaperoned and refereed. And I tried to think of a name for this gentleman. The shelter named him Beto. Shelley called him Duke. My first instinct was Ramsey, and attempted to go with that. This morning, two days in, I knew Ramsey wasn’t it either, but perhaps Rocco.
The sad fact was that this dog knew “Come,” “Come ‘ere,” and “Hey.” That’s right. He responded to, “Hey, come ‘ere.” When I told Christy that, the name of all names came into being: Hayden. It suits him well. A distinguished, intelligent older gentleman with a bit of a goofy side.
The sad fact was that this dog knew “Come,” “Come ‘ere,” and “Hey.” That’s right. He responded to, “Hey, come ‘ere.” When I told Christy that, the name of all names came into being: Hayden. It suits him well. A distinguished, intelligent older gentleman with a bit of a goofy side.
It’s been some time since I’ve had to teach a dog anything. Tucker and I go to classes, but our learning is together and it’s unnecessary knowledge like tricks and agility and fun stuff. It’s been a while since I’ve had to teach a dog his name, and to sit and general in-home etiquette.
We have a rule in our house: no yelling. That goes for me and for Tucker. He doesn’t bark and I don’t yell. So when I had to raise my voice to get Hayden to get off the kitchen counter, Tucker slid out of the room and curled up in a ball in his bed.
Tucker is a good size. He can be next to me in the kitchen while I’m cooking and his face is still three feet away from the food. But Hayden, with no boundaries and lanky German Shepherd build, is three inches from what I’m preparing. Now with less yelling and more coaxing, when it’s dinner time Hayden must be outside the kitchen (although his giant paws manage to be within the room.)
We have a rule in our house: no yelling. That goes for me and for Tucker. He doesn’t bark and I don’t yell. So when I had to raise my voice to get Hayden to get off the kitchen counter, Tucker slid out of the room and curled up in a ball in his bed.
Tucker is a good size. He can be next to me in the kitchen while I’m cooking and his face is still three feet away from the food. But Hayden, with no boundaries and lanky German Shepherd build, is three inches from what I’m preparing. Now with less yelling and more coaxing, when it’s dinner time Hayden must be outside the kitchen (although his giant paws manage to be within the room.)
As I walked the two of them together—something I had dreaded, as I hadn’t walked two dogs together since Husker & Riley in 2007 and they were minpins—my heart filled with pride at Tucker and the two of us. It isn’t often that I get to compare and contrast. But as Hayden sniffed and ignored my existence on the walk, and Tucker stopped each time I did and sat, awaiting a treat, how far Tucker and I have come together in the past year became abundantly clear.
A year ago around this time, Tucker had busted through two soft-sided crates, ate a wooden stirring spoon he had extracted from the dish drying rack on the kitchen counter, consumed the bill of my favorite hat, and pissed and shit in the house.
But love conquers all.
Tucker and I have bonded and found our rhythm; we are a team for life. He’s confident in my love for him and gets that any other dog is a guest—a foster friend that we both enjoy and love—but will never come between us.
A year ago around this time, Tucker had busted through two soft-sided crates, ate a wooden stirring spoon he had extracted from the dish drying rack on the kitchen counter, consumed the bill of my favorite hat, and pissed and shit in the house.
But love conquers all.
Tucker and I have bonded and found our rhythm; we are a team for life. He’s confident in my love for him and gets that any other dog is a guest—a foster friend that we both enjoy and love—but will never come between us.
Hayden isn’t an easily-placeable dog. I imagine he’ll be with us until Tucker and I hit the road for a job—which hopefully is soon since I’ve been out of work for three months already. But that’s makes me even more determined to find that special someone for him quickly. Not just because he deserves to start his new life as soon as possible, but because he shouldn’t be shifted from place to place in rescue limbo.
I believe the perfect home for Hayden would be one in which someone has recently lost one of their two seniors dogs. The one left behind grieving and in need of a new friend, but no one in the family ready or willing to take on a young, spry dog at this time. Hayden still has a spring in his step and is ready to throw down if another dog is so inclined to a wrestling match, but he also wants to lie on soft, cozy bedding, gaze into a human’s eyes, and give kisses.
I believe the perfect home for Hayden would be one in which someone has recently lost one of their two seniors dogs. The one left behind grieving and in need of a new friend, but no one in the family ready or willing to take on a young, spry dog at this time. Hayden still has a spring in his step and is ready to throw down if another dog is so inclined to a wrestling match, but he also wants to lie on soft, cozy bedding, gaze into a human’s eyes, and give kisses.
If you’re interested in Hayden or know someone who might be, please check out his petfinder page (he might still be listed as Ramsey):
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